This is for the holiday hero who can’t even pretend they’re sober around Santa. The man watches you like it’s NORAD tracking your liver. One martini? He knows. Two martinis? He KNOWS knows. Three martinis? Suddenly you’re telling the elf on the shelf he’s not your real dad. Throw this on, pour another, and embrace the fact that the jolliest stalker in the North Pole is judging your beverage choices. Cheers to disappointing Santa… again.
